10.20.10 Remembering Hope

A new theme music in my ear:
“God has not lost hope”.

When I read the prophetic books of the Old Testament and see the enthusiasm and hope found in both God and humanity that loves and trusts God, I am encouraged. Conversely, when I see most church altar calls, and salvation sermons, I am disappointed that we are stuck 2,000 years ago as if the fullness of God ended at the cross. The emphasis on this statement is “ended” not “fullness” because I believe that all can come under grace and are available at the communion table of both the Father and Community of Faith.

I love the passages in Isaiah and other prophets that declare that 'God sees no one to help him, so he/she has to do it himself and reach down to save” and David in the Psalms repeats often a doubt-full trust that God is not too weak to save, but then again, when? Many evangelicals (myself, for a long time) are somehow corrupting the Old and New Testaments by making them the last and final word of God, as if the Resurrection and Ascention was a bandana tied around the mouth of God so she would shut up finally, and we can go about being 'obedient to new laws' we create in churches we build!

Where did hope go?

Ezekiel 9 tells a story about God calling a man who has a writing kit to go and write on the foreheads of people who mourned in Israel for those bullied and living out destruction, those that managed to still have a heart after there was so much reason to trade your heart for symbolism or degrees or status or wealth. The people with real pain going on because of oppression. We focus on the dead idolaters in this story too often, and not on the people that are saved. God starts in the temple, a place that was supposed to be to meet God in, but it wasn't because there were people making money and destroying things even in that holy place.

This is not often seen as “hopeful” but it is a call for us to remember to be compassionate. To put humanity on a love-pedestal no matter how whore-ish she (we) are. That God will remember our mourning and our fists in the ground in anger for the destruction of the creation that God blessed.

ARE WE NOT REQUIRED BY GOD TO SEEK JUSTICE, LOVE KINDNESS, AND WALK HUMBLY WITH HIM/HER? 
Humility is more powerful when it is not our first reaction, and it shows who a person is in the face of their own discrimination and hatred.


We need to let things affect us.
God is involved in humanity.

On a day that is meant to remember those who killed themselves because of bullying, I cannot help but wonder if there was a pastor in miles that would just love them and pray and seek their safety! Isn't that our job, beyond creating 'righteous richards” just to protect the innocent and hurt and broken folks? That we can create spaces for artists to come and bleed on canvas, and say “Damn this, this sucks!”, or people to be healed because we are all here to listen and respond with a God who IS love?

GOD HAS NOT LOST HOPE, PLEASE MY FRIENDS, DON'T LOSE HOPE EITHER. THERE IS A COMMUNITY THAT LOVES YOU AND (most importantly) A GOD WHO RESPONDS IN LOVE (period)!

The Gospel of Graffiti...

I call to you, God, because I'm sure of an answer. So—answer! bend your ear! listen sharp! Paint grace-graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who Are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you. (The Message, Ps. 17:6)

I have titled my blog Grace Graffiti for many reasons. What would it mean to have art back into the christian community, real art, the art that sparks thought and spirit and revolution? My wife made a wonderful announcement when we were doing some 'artsy' ministry stuff, “every culture has been known by what lasted, and that is almost always art”. This has landed her in a ceramics 101 class, which she is kicking ass in (love you!) and has sort of molded a fresh perspective in both of us to engage the arts and spirituality. Our apartment is full of Buddha, Icons, and personal art from friends and our own pieces occasionally.

But really, what has art done? and What can it do?

I see people/artists like Obey Giant, Chaz Bojorquez (pictured above), and some of my favorite homeboys who love art in photograph or spray cans that speak more volumes than words from their lips. There is a peace that comes for us in many different ways, and those ways must be utilized! What is being said when I am able to write a message on a wall so that the world can see. What does it do for history, for personality, for confidence, for the integrity of the message that it is laid out to see? Isn't this the story of much Jewish teaching in the Old Testament?

That we would 'write justice on our hearts' (like a tattoo) and 'declare the year of the Lord's grace in the city'...I cannot believe that books are enough, or sermons, or even blogs, but that there is a prophetic generation of artists that will 'show' beauty through resistance to the modern norms of expression.

Are you one of them?

Grace Graffiti is one of my elements, I believe that if God were to put a mark on all people it would be Grace that would show we are all accepted and loved and permanently changed by what Jesus has brought to us from the Father. Can we say every Sunday that God is creative and beautiful but we stick with just Thomas Kinkade art and post-cards? Is that being responsible with God's message? I don't think so...

GRAB THOSE CANS OF GRACE AND START SPRAYING!!!

American Exceptionalism is not Gospel Teaching.

  I am not against patriotism, or against people with flags on their houses. One of my best friends just got back from a term in Baghdad and I love him to death, but I love him, not his camouflage or orders or service. I believe Jesus was about the whole person, not their political affiliation. What I am against is when that Flag (American or otherwise) becomes more important than the gospel and the message of Jesus Christ and God-Creator and Holy Spirit from the pulpit or bar-stool... Don't think this could happen? It does. In my neighborhood. In your neighborhood. With “pastors” who have not authority over them but their own opinions, their own agenda, etc. The word of God that would speak life is what we should build our ministries around, that speak life into them, not some 'damaged goods sin theology' or 'pro-America, Anti-Muslim theology'. That would be doing a dis-service to my people and to my faith, and to God, who called ALL people to himself.

When preachers are allowing themselves to preach 'America The Beautiful' (and Best) from pulpits, others will feel the same way because that being preached from the pulpit is to say that it is also how God feels. There is NO accountability in that, just BIAS. So, I guess this isn't about patriotism at all, but how holy do we see the pulpit or God for that matter? This American Spiritual Revolution or Exceptionalism is not Gospel, and it definitely has no place for the pulpit. If we preach from a holy place that America is the Best, then that concludes that all other countries should be like America and that they are not the Best and therefore are 'in sin' or 'not blessed' or 'devils'...which may be the opinion of many people that wear crosses around their necks, but would not be the opinion of Jesus.

We have come to great places in the last 100 years with historical evidence and looking into what the context of Paul's letters and Jesus' words have been. “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand” (present tense). We have come to great places where the church has agreed (finally) that the Crusades were a bad idea and rooted in politics rather than 'true religion' like is described in James. We know that much if not all of Jesus' language was political serious-satire, using the words of Caesar and Rome to show the people that God's kingdom would root itself in are the poor and weak and in illegal aliens, and broken widows or orphans, or in the wounds of Himself and the lepers Jesus healed...that Kingdom would reign, and is truly exceptional.

Paul, when writing Ephesians 4:1-6 outlined a greater emphasis on the resistance language of unity than a case for monotheism. (see Imitators of God: A Study Book on Ephesians, by Letty M. Russe) The church was to show that people Jews/Gentiles would get along because they love Jesus and are committed to the things the church is committed to, “Jesus is Lord” was one part, feeding the poor, widow, orphan, raising the dead, serving all people was the majority of their work. That is, to show the Kingdom of God that is present.

Who did Jesus love? Who did he admonish? Samaritans, women, even “centurions and their servants” (Which is an interesting story, Luke 7, look it up in ALL possible contexts). He honored widows who lost all they had, and gave of their loss. He gave examples that were not socially acceptable to the Jewish community that followed him. Shouldn't we?

Reflections in Silence and Revolution: Part 1

Lebh Shomea means “Listening Heart” and the experience was wonderful this past weekend. If you want to see pictures check out my Facebook page. It would take a series of Blogs about the details of what God seemed to say while in silence. But I will share some reflections from my silence.

First, the awkward stage is still boggling me. I expected much less ease about it all. My wife and I are both in ministry and in many ways speak for a living. We hold full time jobs that are in retail also, which means appealing to customers and service. Knowing we were going to a place that the only speaking would be in smiles and hand-holding, with the exception of time in our dwelling, we moved into the space well.

Throughout the trip, I spent time with Amanda in many of the prayer chapels and rooms in the Library. One was titles “St. John Prayer Chapel” and it was very simple with icons and a table for The Eucharist. Here I took off my shoes and just sat in silence contemplating cleanliness and how we so often talk of 'dirty sin' and such things in today's church. This idea of vulnerability came over me there, no shoes. I started to wonder if sin is not the issue, but that our natural vulnerability is a key part of relationship with God, and it has more purpose than we expect...

A rule of the house is to check your feet before you go into your dwelling to make sure you aren't carrying anything inside with us. Is this not what we search for with Confession? And community? And self-discipline?

As we walk this earth,

before we go to speak to one another,

or seek God. Or sleep. Or rest. Or pray.

Do we check our feet (Romans 10:15)

and make sure that news is not tainted by

thorn bushes, or by fear of loss, or by dirt

that has been heaped upon us by plastic brothers and sisters!

Moses came to Yahweh barefoot,

A position most vulnerable for ancient men!

We are born with no shoes, no protection of our “patas”

from the elements and outside world.

Protection we say is the job of our parents, and God when we

are children, but I wonder...

What of the bad gods and parents who leave their children bleeding?

These are our communities, of broken people,

When these children go to read. To pray. To seek. To sleep.

They go humble and hungry and hopeful that WE,

the hands and FEET of Jesus, though Pierced deeply, and also bleeding,

would not TURN AWAY their brokenness, but be there with them.

Speaking. Healing. Feeding. And fitting them for better shoes for this world we walk in.

Lebh Shomea

The weekend approaches. I am sick, a cold that takes my nose from me, smelling is not available, and yet I am excited about spending my weekend "in the desert". My wife and I are going to Lebh Shomea and look forward to the experience. The retreat center has been utilized by people I admire a lot. Justin Horton, Dr. Jackson at South Texas School of Christian Studies where both my wife and i attend, as well as Pastor John Elford who still continues to aggravate my spirituality just by his wonderful presence!

Is this not the role of community? To aggravate holiness in us, to challenge our love, desire, distaste, fear, and attempts at holiness? I think its true, because that is what the Holy Spirit does in me most these days, she is a disruptive bitch at times. Taking me out of my comfortable church places, meeting people who love things that I hate and hate people that I love. But she knows what is best for me, she does.

That is how Amanda and I got to this trip. We didn't have the funds to go see David Bazan in San Antonio, which is still a goal of mine. I want to share a beer with a man of poetry like his. So, here comes a lady at church that is (like me) getting wrecked in holy ways by monastic teaching and prayers of long-since-dead saints and sinners. She wants to send my wife and I on a silent get-away surrounded by desert and monks and books and cactus and solitary silence. Perfect.

I am listening to The Devil Wears Prada discography while I type this, and that is FAR from silence. But it is most violent before the quiet storm, I guess. Wish us luck friends. No phones, no blogs, no computers, just my wife and I, some hermits, monks, sisters, and old pages that will surely inspire.

See you all soon.

A Savior Singing over ugly redemption

A Savior Singing over ugly redemption

Friday, December 23, 2005

Do you ever find yourself caught up in longing.  It doesn't matter the subject of your longing, it could be anything or nothing, but you long so much for something.  I guess that is a good description of a soul, or at least mine.  I'm looking at a comment by a great friend, and it amazes me that little things in life keep me alive.  Really, if no one ever told me they loved me, or wanted me around, or all that 'emo' shit i would find myself dead to some degree.

Lord forgive me for not loving and so often finding that distaste for You in my mouth.  May the words of my mouth only shift to the redemption of my heart and the eternal thirst for You in my soul.  Longing is such a gift of God.  I want a wife, friends, community, love, real relationship without rejection of question of motive, all the desirable things.  Silly things like money, being able to be in a band again, and coffee are last on my desires, and really they aren't desires.

My Bible reads out how we as humanity are continuously responding to God by His creation or by personal relationship with Him.  My prayer life should reflect what i have learned from God that day, and so many times my prayers are empty, longing for something deeper and more passionate, but in that longing i find Christ singing over me.  And He loves my music, my tattoos, my love for Him, my passion for HardXCore and all those silly things as much as those deep rooted longings.

I hope and pray that all of you and i myself find ourselves more in love with God, the G-D of the Bible and the G-D of our lives and Creation and Redemption.  Bless you all. 

Thanks for being part of my longing.

A blog from Thursday, November 03, 2005

It was good to re-read some things that God is still stirring in my heart. Thank the Lord for His consistency!

 

Twitching on the floor of my hearts desire
Current mood:  exhausted
Category: Religion and Philosophy

 

Hello everyone who is reading.
I spent the last two days or so at my house, or at the house i live in, not really mine.  I thought a lot while watching what people think is tv now.  I found myself seeing a funeral service for Rosa Parks, where some great things were said and my heart lept to find a sign somewhere and march for something worthy.

The question comes to what is really worthy? Abortion, Capital Punishment, Punk Rock, Jesus Christ, Rights of Gays, etx.  What is the big problem that I should choose? What will be the response?  I spent two days in depression, a lovely depression, an explosion of my heart, a Big Bang of sorts, and drowned my sorrows in thoughts of Johnny Cash, Jesus Christ, and the sounds of HardXCore music.  It was a grand time in reflection, it was murder in the process.

To be assured, friends, I found my heart twitching on the floor of my own desires, and still am wondering where to go.  Following 'the Spirit' is harder for those of us with conscience and a brain.  Our world is in chaos over gay rights of marriage in TX, and I guess  over the world.  Is this the fight to choose?  Is this the big issue?  I can't believe that so many have taken so much time behind pulpits, on television, and in conversation over coffee to attack such a little problem.

Before I am kicked out of TX please know that I have my own opinions about this issue, and they will not be clear in this blog, but what is to be made clear is that I am in love with a man named CHRIST, and none other will save those caught in adultery (homo or hetero sexual) but the blood that was shed for me and the acceptance to a life changed in conviction and conscience by a living breathing God.

Sorry, but had to spout, been inside too long, and wanted to breathe for real a little bit, been holding my breathe.  Be assured there is more to come from my bleeding heart.
 Please find yourselves on the floor sometime, really praying, even if you never make a sound, find God's heart, and follow His law out of love and obedience, not by popular demand.

I am finished.