WORSHIP.

THE CITY- by THE CHARIOT
(These are the lyrics to the song i was listening too when i first cried over the death of my Grandfather. I was in a band, that (for me) was inspired by The Chariot when a good friend died by the hands of someone they loved years ago, this band has been a vessel of chaotic healing and love since their birth. Thank you guys.)

This is only the start
You're only opening the book
You're only on the first line of what's going to take a little while
I hope you don't hold your breath because they revolt like a choir
They say the language is dead, well, then why do we speak
I hope you understand that my brain is fixed

Into the next town
This is only a revolt

Enough is enough because we cannot be late
Basically, you've been defined as "unworthy of love"
And I confess, I had placed in my heart the same address but I paint with my words
"You're free, don't fear, this is just a revolt"

Into the next town
This is only a revolt

Calm rose: violent wind
The only "surrender" tonight, shall not be our own
They cannot escape, one if by land, two if by sea
I saved my money, but it can't save me
And maybe there is blood from the past, but that is not from me
They can take away one man, and they can take away his mic
But they cannot take us all
No, they can't dig a hole the right size to fit all of our dreams
They can't bury me, they can't bury me
We can't hope that somebody else take our place
No, we can't hope that somebody else take our place

May the history book read of all of our names
Be it blood, be it ink, but at least we were free
This is only but a fraction of what I've got to say
It must be said, it must be sad
If I leave this earth tonight may it be said that I spoke my peace
I spoke with the wrath of his grace
Calm rose: come violent wind
Oh we stand hand in hand and we walk without fear
This is a revolution

Thoughts on Evangelism...etc...

On Evangelism

“there is enough hell on earth to need to cast others to one after this life has ended” -me

Evangelism, the gateway to offer salvation (get definition) is not merely word of mouth, or meditation of heart, but the actual experience of God. The 'intention' of using scriptures about 'know because the earth has a maker' is justifying hell and not offering heaven or salvation hope. With this amount of sickened evangelism, God may well be at the place of saying the things S/he said to Isaiah, “i will reach my right hand to save because no one else is there to do so” and so forth. I believe this happened already, and if we don't look back (and look forward) with that in mind, the fulfillment of the law in Christ Jesus (his whole person, not just the cross) then we are uselessly demanding commitment to a religion and doctrine that claims to save but cannot.

I have been accused of universalism in my theology. And that not believing in hell, or at least how it was presented to me in churches, conferences, and rallies growing up somehow makes me a heretic. I do not believe in a different kind of hell because I love everyone and want some hippie Jesus to save the world with flowers in his hair, but because I believe that the Cross, the Person of Jesus, and the death/resurrection/ascension/return did something and that something is salvation regardless of our personal prayer at an altar call of guiltiness.

I do not believe that God will condemn those we do as a nation or denomination, not because my mother and brother have mental illness and are violent and down right hateful at times. They have a lot of hell on earth, in their minds, and in their daily lives being labeled as “disabled”. Heaven will not be some Cloud Ten interpretation of a bad movie, produced by Pat Robertson, and starring a list of 'renewed washed up actors'. It has to be more than that. It was in scripture, it was in the words of Jesus, and Paul and Peter and James. We don't look to the promise of God enough, but to the judgment.

Paul's statement about “preaching Christ crucified” was about Hope, not hell. It was about what Jesus said in “repent of your way of thinking/believing, because God has come again and is going to save us, through me, now and in the future” (paraphrased, obviously) We can wrap our heads around hell because there is penal systems in our world that condemn quickly, and we get to see punishment as fair treatment with a small amount of evidence. God's system of thought, although only minimally understood by us, is about the whole person, and whole of humanity, like the sheep/goats parable. The in/out statement wasn't about prayers prayed but about hospitality and good deeds. This works in with Grace, because God's grace was the claim that “salvation is come” to us all. If we took evangelism in this direction, using the verses that are major in the musical scale of God's song, we would do better at making disciples and a hopeful world.

After all, God has hope in us, right...right?

Reflections on last night.

Last night I was guest "pastor" on KBNJ's Rock 7 station, a local show that features rock music and metal and rap for younger listeners. I realized last night that I would have loved to talk about more stuff, but really, the people @thebrewery (my 'young adult' faith community) and my friends, the #outlawpreachers is the summation of my ministry right now.

I love my church, I adore St. John's United Methodist here in Corpus Christi, but if we are talking about ME and what makes me tick, its the grace and understanding and love of those individuals in St. John's who are by proxy a part of The Brewery. Grace, Mercy, un-Law, death-n-life, all of it wraps up in LOVE.

If love hasn't done anything, then I'm done trying to be 'good'.
If the law was only partially fulfilled in Jesus, and I and my friends have to be "good people" then I'm done.
THIS IS THE BEST PART, LOVE HAS DONE SOMETHING, JESUS HAS SHOWN THAT THE LAW IS ABOLISHED IN HIS DEATH, LIFE, RESURRECTION, HIS RAISING UP INTO HEAVEN, AND HIS LIFE IN THE OUR OWN BODIES.

Is that not enough for you? Ephesians 4:1-6 doesn't mean that we are uniform, but unified. My brother and sister Muslims, my Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, TransGender, and Queer friends, my friends who are Jews and who are Jew-ish, the tattoo artists and Bar-tenders who I should tip better, and Christians who understand Grace is a person in Jesus, and a work has been done to fulfill the disfunctions of humanity, in LOVE.

Live something that free's people, submit to God who has freedom in mind and function for ALL people.
SALVATION DID SOMETHING IN THE LIFE OF JESUS, AND IT DIDN'T CREATE A DENOMINATION OR RELIGION OR DOCTRINAL STATEMENT.

FIND OUT WHAT IT DID DO!
#GRACE #PEACE. -Harley

At The Flea Market.

1.08.2011

My brother Cha, Mason, myself, and Mom came out to the flea market property where my Popo and Granny live. Its the first time I have been here since he passed. We have gone through albums to share and remember amongst brothers. Everything smells country. Nothing like Corpus, everything there is hard and concrete, graffiti and gasoline. Here, even with an overload of chihuahua puppies, like grass and dew and tired earth. There is a lot of things to remember here. Every seat in the “big building” has been sat on and used by my Popo. He never stood still, and when he did, others moved quickly. He ran a huge flea market for years, and had multiple people working for him, or as he said so often, with him. There wasn't an element of 'big business' or selfishness in his work. He gave himself to so many jobs and endeavors, nobody could predict his next move, except my granny Darla, who knew mostly everything he would do.

Cowboy hats and years of cigarettes and talk of old whiskey. The days when a guy could go get into a fight and it was expected to pick each other up after. The days when he would go skip school to visit my granny in junior high and pretend to be a student aid. Those times that he interrupted other dates she would have, and I would see the faded but deeper than bone tattoos on his arms that simply said “Darla” and “Thomas” that would permanently stain my idea of permanence in this sick world that has little of it left. Darla told me this afternoon that she loves red roses the best, and I am glad, because they will flood the border of my Johnny Cash tattoo as a memorial to them both. “Give my love to Rose” by Cash keeps running through my mind. The story of death and commitment and hope for futures of ones self and family. That kind of lyric needs to be around us all right now.

We saw pictures of my Mamaw and Papaw, and I realized I don't remember her face. I remember Papaw's. I worry that I will forget Popo's face. His voice, never, which Cha and I agree on. The ability to make us smile, even without his presence around in flesh, surely not. When any old man mentions a “knuckle sandwich” I will remember. Or the phrase “Hey boy” so often used to those of us able to drink, smoke, and own businesses, but still are kids to the old. These are things that will stay with me...and my forearm piece.

Faron Young.

Jim Reeves.

Merle Haggard.

Willie Nelson.

Linda Ronstadt.

Kitty Wells.

Bob Wills.

Bar stools, with a personal best record of whiskey and beers. Tears in beers. Air-conditioning stories. Going from steak and horse ranches to pork and beans, but happiness always. Knowing when Corpus was no more than fields and collache roads. When the Buford/Staples areas of town were the rich sides of town and carriages would take people places.

Cha and I talked about how so much stuff will be left behind. People won't know in the future what a real, raw, hand built Flea Market looks like. Not with these air-conditioned malls and Dollar Store/Tree/General/etc. I am 26, and feel like there is so muc hthat will just keep changing rather than there being enough consistency that when I have grandchildren and I pass on, will they remember solid things, or just rhetoric?

New goal for 2011. Make solid what is currently not.

AMEN.

Good Mourning

My grandmother lost her son, my uncle Tommy, in 2007 and kept repeating a phrase that won't leave my mind. She kept saying “see you in the morning”, and I have had that racing in my heart, soul, and mind since then. It has manifest a peace when my Grandpa passed a week before Christmas eve this year. Pain is a bitch, no getting around it. I get frustrated with C.S. Lewis' “megaphone” theory a lot recently. But life and death and theology isn't about frustrations or good vs. bad, its mostly about human beings and minds/heart/souls that interact with God on many levels and with Jesus in the eyes of the poor and hungry. Its the effect of the Cross, and Resurrection of Jesus, and the peace of the Holy Spirit, on all of us under and not under the Christian banner.

I am mourning, for the first four days after my Popo died, I woke up crying. Nearly every day since then I have awoken to thoughts of him, memories, etc. He taught me so much. I have already posted some of this here. He was a fighter from birth, and defended those that were beaten up on, he loved his wife even when he wanted to scream (or did), and he appreciated the stories of the greatest names in Country music, which led to my great love for it as well. The stories of murder ballads, tears in beers, running around trying to find something, shooting back, etc will always remind me of my Popo. The ethics I have now are embedded with the memory of families not charged for air conditioning work because they didn't have it, of family members being ONLY welcomed at his table, and knowing that peace is important in a family and soul of all men and women.

Johnny Cash and June Carter would sing a song called “Kneeling Drunkards Plea” about the grace of God and man, regardless of moral labeling by society or family. I know, from personal experience, that when Church-folk leave you outside without invitation is when God can openly bring you in to grace and peace with Himself. Johnny Cash wrote “Ain't No Grave” after his wife passed and he thought of Resurrection, and fear was not there, but patient anticipation of what God was going to do in the future. That was the message at my Popo's eulogy service. This makes for Good Mournings.

Peace and Grace to all, friends.

johnny cash - there ain't no grave - The Johnny Cash Project Part 1

Thomas "Popo" Heitman, Remembering Part 1

At 12:01am, December 16, 2010, my grandfather, “Popo” died. He was Johnny Cash songs in human flesh, He was the man that all others looked up to because he never let down and showed compassion, commitment, and raw emotion in all that he did and said. I remember a strong man, with scarred hands from raw life, not sissy city life. He taught me a lot, and some things I haven't realized until now. Some are candid, and others are revolutionary. We love you, and will see you on the far side banks of Jordan!

THINGS I LEARNED FROM POPO:

• Always chase the woman. (this is, of course, a reference to his wife)
• Beat down the biggest guy around to that the others are scared of you.
• Whiskey is volatile and dangerous, but damn tasty.
• If you think you can't get the girl, beat up all the other options for her until she conceded (another reference, of course, to my grandma)
• Country gospel beats anything by Chris Tomlin, hands down.
• Do good with what you have, and people will do good when you are in need.
• “Get a job, and keep it”. (which is ironic, because he had more trades than any other Renaissance man)
• Goats are the best lawnmowers, because you can pet them and they don't cut off fingers.
• Give your money to your wife, trust her, and you will always have enough in your pocket.
• “That pew won't get me to Heaven, I know who God is”.
• “Hey boy!” is a compliment and sign of affection.
• Protect and fight for your family, no matter if it looks dangerous, its worth it!
• CASH, WAYLON, WILLIE, HAGGARD (enough said)
• My brass knuckles are just back up for my real ones.
• A man can beat cancer, multiple heart attacks, Quadruple bi-pass surgergy, pace-makers, knee replacement, living years with no teeth, alcoholism, smoking habit, and severe depression, and that man chooses when he dies, taking his last breathe on his terms.
• Death is a fucking son-of-a-bitch, and thank God that resurrection DOES EXIST and is the final goal for us all! (I Corinthians 15:55)
• I can learn more from Johnny Cash and people stories than any set of “up to date” bible series', so screw you Tyndale!

More to come, I am sure...let me know what you think!